Mother's Day: Being a Happy Mom Without Downplaying Dad's Role

Mother's Day: Being a Happy Mom Without Downplaying Dad's Role

written by : MAKUKU - 21 Dec 2023

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Have you ever heard of the term Happy Moms Happy Kid? Being a happy mom can have a positive impact on your little one. The source of a mother's happiness is also inseparable from the role of a father. This Mother's Day, MAKUKU together with Mrs. Christina Tedja, S.Psi, M.Psi, Psychologist from Siloam Kebon Jeruk Hospital will thoroughly discuss the influence of happy mothers on children without ignoring the role of fathers or husbands.

Definition of Happy Mom?

The sources and causes of a mother's happiness are different. There is a mother who feels happy if her child is playing at home alone, a neat house or given a gift by her husband. A mother's happiness cannot be generalized to other mothers, but there is one thing that can show a mother's happiness, namely through the stability of attitude and behavior.

Mrs. Christina explained that children are a new world for mothers and vice versa. However, a mother should not feel that her life is deprived after having a baby. For this reason, it is important to recognize yourself and recognize your true self to feel happiness for yourself. Being a mother does not mean having to sacrifice one's identity because it is prone to triggering emptiness in adults. 

"Don't sacrifice our identity into a new identity. Having children does not mean that a mother has to cut down on hobbies or do what she likes in order to dedicate herself to children," explained Mrs. Christina. 

Form of Support from Father's Role

Being a happy mother without excluding or downplaying the role of fathers is possible and encouraged. It is important to understand that balance and cooperation between both parents play an important role in forming a healthy family environment.

Maybe a mother can do everything independently, from taking care of the house, work, caring for children and so on because she feels dissatisfied if it is done by someone else. So rely on yourself in taking care of everything. But there is nothing wrong with asking for help from dad. Asking your husband for help can also make him feel valuable to the family.

Christina mentions that husband and wife communication greatly affects the happiness of each partner. "Don't wait until the husband is sensitive, because waiting for someone's awareness means putting expectations and can cause disappointment. If that's the case, you will be far from happy," she said.

Involving fathers in the parental role and building a balanced relationship provides many benefits for the whole family. Togetherness and strong support between both parents create a solid foundation for family happiness and well-being.

The Impact of Unhappy Mothers on the Little One

Indeed, a mother's happiness can already be felt by the child since the womb. When pregnant women eat sweet foods, the baby will respond with movement. Likewise, emotional feelings of happiness, joy, sadness, and anger can also be 'transmitted' to the baby in the stomach. Moreover, when the child is born, even though they cannot understand the feelings of the mother, the child can already capture the signals of what their parents feel.

The impact is very broad and cannot specifically mention one thing, Christina added, mothers who are unhappy and vent to their children can make the brain response system freeze easily. Then it causes anxiety, depression, fear easily and in the long run has other personality traits as an adult. These things can be the root of other disorders.

"Children do digest what they see. But don't rush to blame yourself. Mothers are only human beings with feelings and emotions and cannot be a fairy godmother all the time. So, parents should be able to find solutions from both sides as a repair and healing solution for children," Christina explained on IG Live on December 21, 2023.

How to Manage Stress to Be a Happy Mom

There are many causes of stress in mothers that ultimately make mothers feel less happy. The easiest way to manage stress is to know what causes stress in mothers. According to Ms. Christina, if the cause comes from the family then improve the communication so that the relationship is better. For working mothers who easily experience stress due to work, they are usually unable to allocate problems where they should. Because not a few due to work problems in the office then brought to the house.

"The child is only the result of the parents' emotional outburst. Both mother and father, must think of the child. Seek professional help to vent what you feel. Do not self talk because it is prone to ignoring what the mother feels and creates a sense of emptiness. So that the feeling becomes dull to feel what is felt and does not create a sense of happiness in oneself," concluded Mrs. Christina.

Happy Mother's Day to all the great moms in the world! (Aq/MKK)

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